(The opening meeting of the faculty union at CCSU was graced with the presence of University administrators, invited by AAUP officers, who provided them with a lavish lobster spread.
Sadly, I was not present to bask in the glow of this company-union affection – but it has inspired me to make this poetic offering}:
A springtime day with lovely weather,
Professor and Administrator – chums together!
They hastened cheery, without delay,
And gathered round a grand buffet.
An odd combination to be sure,
Class distinctions being obscured,
A union would never invite the boss!
My, what scrumptious dipping sauce!
Sure you’re axing all our lines,
But I’ve still got mine, so everything’s fine.
To hear the way those adjuncts whine!
Do you prefer the Port or Rhine?
You snoop and spy and discriminate,
Against our female professor mates,
You do the same to campus radicals
Pretty please – some more sabbaticals?
If our dear students could see us now,
Gathered round this splendid chow,
Their crushing debts sure makes us sorry –
Oooh – such crispy calamari!
Our forbears fought for union pride,
Went to jail, were beaten and died
In struggle, against goons and mobsters.
Oh my God! There’s even lobster!
Here we are “Colleagues,” special and bright,
Not a Fellow Worker in sight.
No Brothers, Sisters or Comrades to misbehave,
For they are turning over, in their graves.