If Donald Trump Were a Woman

BY JOHN K. WILSON

Donald Trump’s sexism parade is on full march now that a woman is his clear opponent. He announced, “Frankly, if Hillary Clinton were a man, I don’t think she’d get 5 percent of the vote.” Like most of what comes out of Trump’s mouth, it was incredibly stupid. Not only is it factually laughable, but remember that Trump is currently losing in the polls to Clinton, and so he is telling the millions of Clinton supporters he must persuade to switch sides that they are morons who only support Clinton because she’s a woman.

Trump’s comment is also the worst kind of male privilege: being so oblivious to the reality that Trump actually thinks that women get all the advantages and opportunities in life, and men are never given a fair chance in politics or anywhere else, despite all the overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Unfortunately, that kind of irrational rejection of the reality of sexism is common among the crowd that decries “political correctness” everywhere. Since I’m writing a book about Trump (if I can find a publisher), I’m fascinated by his bizarre thoughts.

So let’s play Trump’s game, but put a mirror on it: What if Donald Trump were a woman?

If Donald Trump were a woman, her traditional father would never have put her in charge of the family business, and she would have never been allowed to succeed in the all-male world of New York real estate and construction.

If Donald Trump were a woman, her business failures would have resulted in personal bankruptcy rather than lenient treatment by male golf buddies who ran the banks.

If Donald Trump were a woman, she could not become a celebrity by hanging out with models and constantly bragging about her greatness.

If Donald Trump were a woman, NBC would never have given her a TV show because a woman yelling “you’re fired” would come across as too harsh and bitchy.

If Donald Trump were a woman, her multiple husbands (due to her adultery) and her public bragging about the large number of sexual partners she’s had would cause her to be slut-shamed and dismissed as a possible Republican candidate because she could never get the votes of Evangelical Christians.

If Donald Trump were a woman, her announcement in a Republican debate about the large size of her sex organs would have been treated as absolutely insane by the media and disqualifying by virtually all voters.

If Donald Trump were a woman, her weird hair would not be a mere joke, but a fashion failure so enormous that no one would take her seriously as a candidate.

If Donald Trump were a woman, her constant yelling would be attacked as too loud and shrill.

If Donald Trump were a woman, her exaggerations, deceptions and outright lies would be treated as a fundamental character flaw rather than an amusing form of rhetoric.

If Donald Trump were a woman, she would be dismissed as a crazy diva too emotional and irrational to be trusted with any responsibility, let alone the presidency of the United States.

If Donald Trump were a woman, every flaw would be magnified and scrutinized, while every success of hers would be attributed to a man.

If Donald Trump were a woman, she would not be a billionaire, she would not be a celebrity, she would not be a serious political candidate, she would not get close to 1% of the votes Trump has received, and she would never be the Republican nominee for president.