Of Presidents and Poodles


Seizing a Sculpture

“At Canada’s Capilano University, the administration confiscates a professor’s work caricaturing the president on the grounds that it constitutes ‘harassment.'”  –INSIDE HIGHER ED

I must say the Poodle is looking very presidential. The extended touch of gray shows someone who has had his share of worries, and the sharp, long tooth making an appearance from a mouth slightly askance, it lends an air of go-getting that is so important in college presidents. The hair is very fine and wavy, too, reminiscent of the statesmen of hundreds of years ago.

Now I don’t know what the deal is with the troll next to the president. Being of Swedish descent, I have known my fair share of trolls (as if anyone could ever have a fair share when it comes to trolls) and in Sweden trolls are said to be kidnappers, so that might not be a good thing to which we are witness. Has a troll made off with the Poodle-president?

Then there is the matter of the American flag and the way it is draped round the shoulders of mainly the troll, as if the troll were holding hostage America, and that, as we know, is absolutely not acceptable these days.  And come to think of it, the troll looks like Elton John, but he must be having an off-day in the glasses department, though the large visible teeth should be able to protrude nicely with the crying repetition of “Benny! Benny!” “Crocodile Rock”–the troll definitely has the teeth to impersonate that animal.

And while we are at it, why would anyone kidnap a Poodle? I am very concerned that this Poodle-president has gone missing. The only good thing that can come out of it are increased donations to the SPCA, PETA, and maybe the local Humane Society Chapters. But we must act quickly, the public has only the attention of a Tweet or two, before it moves on to saving the next animal.

Who ever you are, Poodle-president-napper, please bring this college president home! You have him against a backdrop that is concrete, and I can’t make out the letters of the sign behind. I hope they are not the issuance of an ultimatum we cannot comply with because the shot of your camera focused so much on the troll with earrings a troll would truly die for.

I am sure the Poodle-president will help you with surgery on those multiple folds of skin should you see it fit to return him soon. Why, the Poodle-president’s foundation is standing by right now to solicit sizeable pledges the operation befitting.

But please: Bring our poodle-president home and tell that troll to go live under the bridge it came from. There are impressionable children watching, and these children will become future college students, maybe even educators one day. Their pleasant dreams of the academy must not be shattered until much later.

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